35th Wedding Anniversary!

My husband Bear and I celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary on December 4, 2016.  Wow! Where have the years gone? This is a time of reflection as I look back over our many years together, my Bear and me. We were 18 and 19 when we met and began dating the following year. The next 5 1/2 years were full of romantic love, college, work, getting to know each others' families but also times of indecision and uncertainty in our relationship. After he graduated from college and we both found grown up jobs, we committed ourselves to God and each other. After an 8 day engagement (what were we thinking?) we were married in my parents' church. 

Like any couple who have been married several decades, we have experienced tremendous joy: moving into our first home, the births of our sons, developing a business, a wonderful church life, close ties with our parents and siblings, great friends, memorable family vacations, and 15 years of home schooling which was our greatest family adventure. But like any couple who have been married several decades we have experienced our share of difficulties as well. I have many regrets about the role I have played in our marital discord. But I am so grateful we stood firm in our commitment to each other, to our sons, and to God. We are nothing special. We have caused each other, and I'm sure our sons, pain. We continue to extend each other grace and forgiveness as we grow old together.  

Now we find ourselves with an empty nest, we've buried our fathers and care for our mothers, and our 60+ year old selves look nothing like our wedding portrait. But I am thankful Bear is by my side as we enter a new decade in marriage and life with all the changes they will bring. 

So to anyone who might be weary in the battle of marriage I encourage you to not give up. Choose your "hard". Yes, it's hard at times to stay in a marriage where you feel you have been unappreciated, unloved, unheard. But divorce is hard too. Divorce is hardest on your children. Do the hard thing by accepting responsibility for your role in the relationship, find a professional who can help you perform the surgery necessary to heal your marriage. Maybe that sounds too easy. It's not. It's hard but you and your spouse are worth it. Your family is worth choosing the hard things of surgery, forgiveness, and unconditional love. Love is a choice. Commitment is a choice. Neither will succeed if they are based on how you feel. 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a, 13

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!
My mother is 83 now and her world was rocked when we lost my daddy in 2008. Mom grew up very hard but succeeded in school and won a scholarship. She was very loyal to her family and helped provide financially for her younger brothers. During my youth she managed to work as an executive secretary while running a home. She never missed a ball game, prepared hot meals, and taught Sunday School. I learned so much from my mother. How to be a dutiful and loving wife as I care for my husband. How to be a mother and grandmother who loves unconditionally. How to serve others with a warm and loving spirit. How to love my mother-in-law (and father-in-law), as they are extensions of my husband. How to walk the Christian walk even when I'm hurting and don't feel like it. How to encourage others with the written word. Mom has always been known and appreciated for her card writing ministry. She does not see it as a ministry, but it is! I learned from her at an early age how to put my thoughts on paper. She's also known for her great home made banana pudding. I'm still working on that feat! A gracious, godly southern lady who wears a bouffant hair-do and lipstick to the mail box. That's my mommie and I love her so much. She has dementia now and lives in an assisted living facility. Tuesday we had dinner together and she took my hand and prayed the sweetest blessing/prayer. I cherish this memory as I don't know what to expect from day to day as is the case with dementia.

To all mothers, take a moment for yourself on Mother's Day! If you've lost your mother or are estranged from her, I'm so sorry for your loss! I encourage you to reflect on fond memories or reach out to an elderly lady who may need a hug on Mother's Day!

This Mother's Day, I am so grateful I've been allowed to be the mother to my sons, now men. They were my career, my life projects and I'm so thankful for the men they have grown up to be. Now I have an amazing daughter-in-law who loves us and allows us to love her. She and our older son have blessed us with 3 precious grandchildren: J, a boy age 4, A, a girl, 2 1/2, and L, a baby girl, 1. Yep, 3 under 4! We are so blessed. And to see my husband of 33 years with these babies, well, it's all about Granddaddy! They love him so! So Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and grandmothers and mothers-in-law, and step moms out there! Count your blessings and enjoy your day!

Road Trip 2015

Well, our 26 year old son works 2 jobs and attends the local university. So, he had a "spring break" and planned to go on a road trip. He invited us to join him and at the very last minute, we very hesitantly decided to kennel our 14 year old dog and take off. We loaded up and departed Easter Sunday morning, just my husband, our son, and me. This was a first for us. We've been to our second home in Florida together a lot but we haven't been on a traditional road trip since 2004 and that wonderful road trip included our older son. It was our last family vacation. Well, I absolutely love road trips!

When I was growing up, my parents were great about taking family vacations. My most memorable vacation was in 1968 when my parents, my younger brother and I drove from Atlanta to Wyoming (in a car without a/c) to visit Yellowstone National Park. We were gone about 2 weeks. Daddy had an Army buddy who owned a huge ranch in Wyoming with more than 1,000 acres. We visited him and his family and enjoyed a very regional experience. To visit Yellowstone, we stayed in a lodge outside the east gate near the Shoshone River. We stayed there several nights and drove into the park to tour. We saw lots of wildlife, the geysers, the lake, it was a wonderful time. I purposed in my mind when we left that amazing area of the country that I would return to the lodge, which is still in operation and owned by the same family. It's on my bucket list.

From Wyoming, we traveled to Arizona, briefly checked out the Grand Canyon, then on to a border town where my grandfather was staying with my uncle's family on an Army base. We picked him up then traveled across Texas home. I remember when we arrived back home in Georgia, we called my grandparents, Daddy's parents, and told them we were heading to their house for some home cooked vittles. We jumped out of the car and kissed the ground!

So, our 2015 road trip led us to San Antonio, TX  by way of  Mobile Bay, New Orleans and Houston. Once in San Antonio, I relaxed on the beautiful river walk. We toured the area on foot, as everything of interest, The Alamo, cathedral, market, shopping and dining were all within walking distance. Our son and I did enjoy a tour on a river gondola where he learned he history of the city and specifically the development of the River Walk. While we traveled many many miles in a very short time, we all agreed it was worth it and were glad we did it.

And...our doggie handled her kennel experience just fine. Sometimes, acting on a whim without a great deal of planning, just works. I'm thankful we had such a great get away together and will cherish the memories.

My Parents: 60 Year Anniversary

My parents were married 60 years ago yesterday, March 26, 2015. Sadly my father passed away in November, 2008. But they enjoyed 53 1/2 years of a wonderful marriage of loyalty, honesty, commitment, faithfulness, mutual respect, hard work and deep love. Deep love for each other, God, my brother and I, and their family and friends. They shared a very sweet old fashioned romantic love. Daddy called Mom on his cell phone to play her one of "their" love songs from the Jeep radio. Mom always ran to the door to greet him whenever he came home. They took turns warming coffee mugs for each other. Sweet gestures.

They both worked hard to provide the opportunities for my brother and I that they never had. Mom worked as an executive secretary for a large oil company in Atlanta for a number of years, but she was also a home maker. Even when she worked outside the home she prepared a hot breakfast for us most mornings. Having been a working mother myself, I wonder how she managed to do so much, well, and with a positive attitude.

Daddy worked long and crazy hours for the railroad. During his final days with us, I tried to comfort him suggesting he rest because he had always worked so hard for us. He said he worked because he loved to work.

Mom lives at an assisted living facility now and doesn't recall the date. But she will gladly tell you she was married to an angel. She refers to him as "my angel" still. The pain of loss has been unbearable for her but I know the 53 1/2 years they shared together far outweigh the countless tears she has shed for her angel.

Thank you, Daddy and Mom, for all the personal sacrifices you both made for me and Brother to have such a stable and loving home where God was revered and unconditional love flowed freely.

Love,
Sis

Good Manners: Not Just A Southern Thing

I was raised by a very gracious Southern lady who insisted my brother and I practice good manners. Not snobby manners of the upper class elite! Just good common sense of treating others with kindness. So...yesterday I pulled up to a gas pump at the local QT which was incredibly busy for mid afternoon on Tuesday. Well, the pump I was heading for had one of those plastic bags on the handle, no gas there. I immediately tried to back up to the pump beside this one but....a pick up truck pulled up and "beat me to it".  Exasperated, I pulled away in search of a free pump with gas. I cruised the pumps, only to return to the pump where the pick up truck parked. But the driver was not pumping gas. Rather, he was waiting in his truck and waving me back to the pump. This kind man had realized he had sort of bumped me and was patiently waiting, actually holding a space for me at the working pump, until I came back around. I gratefully waved, pulled up and hurriedly pumped my gas. The pick up man searched for an open pump elsewhere. Once I had calmed down, I was so blessed by the pick up man's kind gesture, I drove around and found him. He looked up as I approached and.......the pick up man was one of my cousins!!! He held the spot for me as a stranger, he did not know it was me, and I didn't know it was him when I sought him out to thank him. But I know who raised him! His parents instilled manners in him too! What a great end to a hectic afternoon of errand running! Thank you God for those who continue to put others' needs above their own. Thank you Cuz!